By The Bureau of Unrealistic Expectations
In a move many are calling the most egregious attack on free government money since… well, ever, the Trump administration has proposed a wildly controversial idea: that able-bodied adults on Medicaid or food stamps should work, train for a job, or — brace yourself — volunteer for 20 hours a week.
Cue the outrage and protests.
“We are dangerously close to expecting responsibility,” warned a visibly shaken MSNBC panelist. “What’s next? Requiring people to get up before noon?”
The proposal, crafted by an obviously sadistic team that includes Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins, Housing Secretary Scott Turner, and Director of the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services Mehmet Oz, and a coalition of Trumpian reformers, dares to suggest that if you can work, maybe you should.
Critics immediately dubbed it Ableism 2.0, with several claiming the policy is an “all-out war on Netflix marathons, couch rights, and the constitutional freedom to opt out of Monday.”
“Volunteering at a food bank while getting food stamps? That’s just cruel irony,” tweeted a blue-haired activist while sipping a $7 cold chai tea latte with oat milk and a dash of cinnamon.
According to the Trump Administration, this isn’t about punishment. It’s about purpose. But try telling that to activists who insist that paperwork is violence, and that expecting people to contribute to their communities is a slippery slope toward fascism.
A congressional representative from Minnesota blasted the plan, saying it would add “burdensome expectations” on Americans, like showing up, doing something, and building a routine. “This is government at its worst,” she said. “Trying to give people skills and self-sufficiency? Disgusting.”
In response, Trump officials released a follow-up memo titled: “If You Want Welfare and Can Work, You Must.” The document boldly asserts that welfare isn’t intended to be a permanent career plan and emphasizes that the truly needy will remain protected. Still, progressive influencers caution against “an impending compassion crisis.”
“This policy implies that work is virtuous,” said one New York Times columnist. “What’s next, rewarding merit?”
At press time, Democrats were reportedly drafting legislation to define “volunteering” as “posting Instagram infographics about injustice” to meet the 20-hour requirement.
America, brace yourself, personal responsibility is back on the table.
By The Bureau of Unrealistic Expectations
In a move many are calling the most egregious attack on free government money since… well, ever, the Trump administration has proposed a wildly controversial idea: that able-bodied adults on Medicaid or food stamps should work, train for a job, or — brace yourself — volunteer for 20 hours a week.
Cue the outrage and protests.
“We are dangerously close to expecting responsibility,” warned a visibly shaken MSNBC panelist. “What’s next? Requiring people to get up before noon?”
The proposal, crafted by an obviously sadistic team that includes Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins, Housing Secretary Scott Turner, and Director of the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services Mehmet Oz, and a coalition of Trumpian reformers, dares to suggest that if you can work, maybe you should.
Critics immediately dubbed it Ableism 2.0, with several claiming the policy is an “all-out war on Netflix marathons, couch rights, and the constitutional freedom to opt out of Monday.”
“Volunteering at a food bank while getting food stamps? That’s just cruel irony,” tweeted a blue-haired activist while sipping a $7 cold chai tea latte with oat milk and a dash of cinnamon.
According to the Trump Administration, this isn’t about punishment. It’s about purpose. But try telling that to activists who insist that paperwork is violence, and that expecting people to contribute to their communities is a slippery slope toward fascism.
A congressional representative from Minnesota blasted the plan, saying it would add “burdensome expectations” on Americans, like showing up, doing something, and building a routine. “This is government at its worst,” she said. “Trying to give people skills and self-sufficiency? Disgusting.”
In response, Trump officials released a follow-up memo titled: “If You Want Welfare and Can Work, You Must.” The document boldly asserts that welfare isn’t intended to be a permanent career plan and emphasizes that the truly needy will remain protected. Still, progressive influencers caution against “an impending compassion crisis.”
“This policy implies that work is virtuous,” said one New York Times columnist. “What’s next, rewarding merit?”
At press time, Democrats were reportedly drafting legislation to define “volunteering” as “posting Instagram infographics about injustice” to meet the 20-hour requirement.
America, brace yourself, personal responsibility is back on the table.
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